Is it OK to Ask Questions?
Luke 8:22–25 (ESV):
One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” So they set out, and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?”
As our kids get older, they rely on us less and less for many things. This is a good thing, it's a natural progression of their maturity. What's even more difficult is when they seem to "pull away" from their faith.
In today's culture, deconstructing the faith is becoming increasingly prevalent. Young people are stepping away from their faith, feeling disillusioned and lied to by the leaders of their faith. But this is not a new phenomenon. For almost 30 years, researchers have examined this movement of cynicism and pessimism leading young people away from the faith of their youth.
The National Study of Youth and Religion found one of the major contributing factors to kids leaving their faith when they leave home was that there were no tough conversations in their homes; kids couldn't question their faith within the safety of their parents' leadership and discipleship. These tough conversations could range anywhere from discussions on sexuality to discussions about their faith. While this finding is indicting, it's also an opportunity to end generations of having "stuff we don't talk about" and be a generation of parents that tackle the tough stuff at home.
We encourage you to embrace hard questions with your little ones, especially your teens. Ask THEM hard questions. The best (possibly the most important) part is that you don't have to have the answers! Look them up together. Go to your youth pastor (or pastor) together, if you don't know where to find the answers. Look at trusted sites on the internet for more information. MOST IMPORTANTLY, go to God's word together. Look in your concordance for the topic and see what God says about it. Pray to God together for wisdom and insight. Doing each of these steps teaches you and your child where to go to find answers on the tough stuff.
The disciples questioned Jesus, and they walked with him. He loved them and taught them through their doubts and questions. When our kids push back and ask questions we don't need to be distressed. This is a great opportunity to dig in and disciple them more deeply. Embrace the opportunity and the discomfort, leaning into Jesus all the more for his wisdom and guidance.
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